Defining Your Core Values

I recently offered a workshop on defining your core values. As a refresher, this is a list of words that represent the beacons of purpose and meaning in your life. What you deem important in order to be fulfilled and, to use an overused term: happy. Core values can be clarified through regular journaling (Morning pages), meditation, intentional breathing and talking with a partner or coach. I find the exercise of Essence Pace to be really helpful here, too. (Ask me about it if you haven’t experienced Essence Pace yet!)

Reflect back on important memories, accomplishments, milestones and distill them into a feeling or a word. When do I feel most connected to who I am at my essence? Don’t try to be perfect about this. The words and definitions will evolve over time.

Here’s my current list:

Compassion and service

Spiritual consciousness: A connection to something larger than myself

Curiosity and openness

Play and creativity

Close family and friends

Diversity of community

Freedom / sovereignty

Let these words be a filter through which you make decisions - big and small. When there is a “wobble” in a day or moment, check in with your values to find a misalignment or a remedy. For example, I can get looped into gossiping about our neighborhood association (suuuuch a source of frustration for me) and it then, later, I feel an anxious questioning - “am I a bad person? Does that person think I’m petty and disingenuous? A fucking phony?” Upon reflection, I can see that the wobble comes from a misalignment with my values (several!). The MOST important thing to remember here is to simply reset. No further self-flagellation or shaming necessary. Simply reset and recommit to alignment with these values. I’m human and have learned that I am susceptible to gossip when it comes to this person or this topic. What would I choose to do next time and set that goal.

Next up: How to implement your core values in how you use your time.